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Month: September 2020

Bryan Tew Leaves Spain, Has Fit of “White Hot Rage”, Dislocates Shoulder

So Bryan decided Spain isn’t cool anymore and has left, much to the relief of the Spanish people.

He was supposed to make his way from Spain to France to Serbia but as is typical for Tew, he always does something stupid to get himself into trouble.

He claims the CIA has mind controlled him to lash out in rage. He doesn’t really give out much context but says he tried to swing his suitcase at someone he claimed to be a stalker and ended up dislocating his shoulder.

He’s currently stuck in Paris wearing an arm/shoulder cast that he says will have to stay on for three weeks.

Of course it’s everyone’s fault but his own. He didn’t want to swing that suitcase at an innocent person. The CIA corrupted his mind, convinced him that some random dude is a stalker, and pressed a button that made his arm swing impotently.

I don’t like to laugh at people’s misfortunes … but it’s Bryan and watching his life unfold is just a slow motion comedic disaster of his own making so I can’t help it.